You'd think by now people would have realised that appearing on The Bachelor is a really bad idea.
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It's the same deal with The Bachelorette (and all the affiliated spin-offs that clog the airwaves) but it's The Bachelor that's on our TVs now, so I'm focusing on that.
We're up to season seven of The Bachelor. That's seven seasons of female contestants being made out to be the villain, to be mentally unbalanced, to be creepy stalker material.
That's years of sitting at home and watching real people being manipulated, embarrassed and humiliated on national television.
And yet, each year, another collection of women goes "oh, that won't happen to me. I'm too clever to let them portray me that way".
And then they go on the show, get stung and end up looking foolish.
That's if you don't suffer the extreme indignity of getting punted at the end of the first episode. That happened to two women and not a single person remembers who they were.
Which is probably good for them actually, as they are saved from leaving an indelible mark on the viewers.
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Others were not so lucky.
Kristen will need to wait several years before she will live down being the contestant obsessed with China (she probably only mentioned the country five or six times but the makers chose to splice them all together to make her seem like she has some crazy one-track mind).
Then there's the super-desperate Emma, who will no doubt climb the walls of the bachelor property to get back in after she's kicked out. Come on girl, you've known this guy for a few hours, dial it back a bit.
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The umm, interesting-looking Nikki is forever associated with that mistake of turning up in a cheerleader's outfit and waving her pom-poms while singing "one, two, blue, red/ no brain in my head".
Okay, she didn't chant that, but she could have.
And Rachael turning up in a wedding dress? Yeah, nothing is guaranteed to scare off a guy that wearing that on a first date.
Honestly, I'm surprised he even let her in the house.
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