Susan Gordon never planned to write about the sexual abuse she suffered as a teen, but decades later she is sharing her story.
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The Wolumla-based wellness consultant is currently working on a book about her personal recovery, but sensed that it lacked context.
"I was writing about how I had managed to recover over the past 30 years, but I never shared what I was recovering from," Ms Gordon said.
The result is a prequel e-book titled “Broken”, which tells a story Ms Gordon has only told in parts until now.
Living out of home in Melbourne, Ms Gordon was repeatedly raped by a group of men when she was 17 years old.
Young and confused, she was left to deal with her own trauma as she was met with disbelief from others.
"People laughed at me or didn't think what I was saying was true," she said.
Ms Gordon turned to drugs and alcohol to cope.
"I would work all day and then write myself off each night, that's what I did for years," she said.
"It was actually an effective coping mechanism for me, but it formed into a habit, which made everything worse."
She struggled down a path of addiction and post traumatic stress disorder for many years after the attack.
Ms Gordon moved to the Bega Valley in 1991, at a time when she was just beginning her recovery process.
Her next book, “Glued Back Together”, focuses on this recovery, but she has been surprised to find her story of trauma has also helped her audience.
"I was worried it was going to be too dark, but some women have contacted me to say thank you," she said.
"It has helped others to address their own trauma, and that is a good thing."
The writing about the attacks wasn't the most difficult part of the process.
"It was like a stream of consciousness, it was actually easy to get it out," Ms Gordon said.
"My PTSD replayed it in my head all the time, it was always there, I'd gone through it so many times already."
Sharing her story with friends and family concerned Ms Gordon most.
"I got very good at not telling this story over the years," she said.
"My mother passed away last year, and I think that was a catalyst for me, because I couldn't talk to her about this."
Ms Gordon's daughter is now the same age as she was at the time of her rape. They have used the book to speak about what happened for the first time.
The message that Ms Gordon wants her readers to learn is that time does not heal all wounds.
It has been almost 40 years since hshe was attacked, but Ms Gordon said she is only able to speak about it as a result of her complex recovery process.
