“THE social norm is to go to school, get a good job and get married,” Alexsandra Julian-Bailey said over a coffee on a warm winter’s morning outside a small café in Bermagui.
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From the moment they first met Ms Julian-Bailey and her partner Rosie Watt knew they would be together for the rest of their lives.
The couple have been engaged for nearly five years and have every aspect of their wedding planned, there’s just one problem in the eyes of Australian law – the Coolagolite couple are both women.
“During high school I felt so different to everyone,” Ms Watt said.
“If we come together now to be an understanding community it will help the next generation to find their paths easier and people won’t be scared to come out.
“It’s hard because I understand that there’s a lot of social pressures and history surrounding the issue of same-sex marriage, but I don’t understand why it exists to such a degree,” Ms Watt said.
“I just want equality for everyone.”
With Federal Opposition Leader Bill Shorten’s bill to legislate same-sex marriage currently before parliament, Member for Eden-Monaro Peter Hendy has recently reinforced his opposition to a change in the Marriage Act, a move which has confused Ms Watt who would like the idea put to a popular vote.
“I’d love to know what everyone’s view is, because then you can see clearly where the percentages are,” she said.
“There is no democracy if Liberal party members are all taking the same stand.
“It’s not meant to be a debate but a discussion of views, but at least people are talking about it.
“You often hear people say lesbians are fine but not gay people.”
The couple come from different backgrounds, with Ms Julian-Bailey from a Spanish Catholic family in Canberra, while Ms Watt had a secular upbringing in the Bega Valley.
“For me marriage is just a certificate at the end of the day,” Ms Watt said.
“I just feel that we should have the opportunity if we want.
“I was brought up without religion and it’s hard for me to persecute people.
“We have struggled with religion and family early on, so it’s been hard,” the 24-year-old said.
The couple have taken the step of even travelling to Spain for their wedding before realising that they would have to be residents in the country for at least two years before they would be allowed to celebrate their big day together.
“We’ve put it on hold until we can celebrate it legally here with our families,” Ms Watt said.
“I think it’s a fear of the unknown, and we’re living in a time where fear is creating the momentum behind this.”
Ms Watt said that equality in the eyes of the law is important as many same sex couples are in stable relationships and looking to raise children.
“In relation to equality I feel we should have the opportunity to make our relationship official, particularly when it comes to the next of kin situation in the case of an emergency and in the future if we look to adopt, because in the case of family disputes the other parent doesn’t have the full legal capacity as a parent,” Ms Watt said.
“As a gay person I don’t define people as either gay or straight,” she said.
“People are just people.”
The couple have battled with friends, family and religion since meeting seven years ago in Canberra, however despite struggles such as this the couple are positive about the future.
“I do feel lucky to be a gay person in these times, the world is far more open today,” Ms Watt said.
“In the time we’ve been together we’ve seen a lot of social change.
“A lot of my friends freaked out because they thought they were losing me to a girl.
“They were too busy trying to conform to society, which probably confused them a lot more.
“They never spoke about homosexuality at school.
“Awareness is a big thing, and lots of people are scared so they don’t want to think about it.”
As for the wedding, it is a day Ms Julian-Bailey said can’t come soon enough.
“We just need the right garden, full of flowers we’ve grown, first,” she said as the couple shared smiles.
“We have it all planned out.”